Friday, November 30, 2018

Fave Target Finds - November 2018 Edition

I've always loved Target, but I don't think I really understood that basic white girl Target love until I became a mom. Now, Target is my place! I get to say that I'm grocery shopping (cause I am), while also looking at fun things. And mine now has a Starbucks. What more could this basic white mama want?!

I've had lots of good finds at Target lately and wanted to share them with you. I'm not being compensated for these in anyway, I'm just sharing some of my favorites. These could be great gifts or treat yo'self gifts!


Universal Thread Dylan MicroSuede Perforation Zipper Bootie - $34.99

Photo courtesy
I found these with my mom. They didn't have them in my size at the Target near my house, but I hit another up later in the week and found them! I'm so glad they did. These are great with leggings and with jeans. I love the zipper detail and they are super comfy with some no-show socks. I've worn them at least twice a week since buying them and that's saying a lot from a girl with a wall of shoes!

A New Day Stone Casting Earrings - $9.99

Photo courtesy
I am loving all the jewelry at Target - especially the Sugar Fix by BaubleBar! These earrings aren't from that line, but I literally live in these colors during the fall and winter, so I treated myself to this pair.

Sweater: Honeypunch by StitchFix/Top: LulaRoe Irma/Pants: WhoWhatWear/Earrings: Target (see above)
I actually wore them on Monday with a LulaRoe top and these pants, also found at Target! These pants have an elastic waistband and are great if you're trying to lose that baby (or any!) weight.


Target has some of the best ornaments right now! I normally don't venture very far into the Christmas decoration section at Target (too many people), but I went with my best friend when she was visiting and I'm so glad I did! Target has a bunch of character ornaments as well as the glass style ornaments. Here are some of the ones I've picked up:

Photo courtesy
I could only find Spiderman and Black Panther online, but there are a ton more in store! I picked up Batman and Thor for Aaron.

I picked up this ornament for my little boy. Carter's nickname since birth has been burrito. One of our nurses in the delivery room called him a Carter Burrito and it stuck! Seemed only right to give him a burrito for his first ornament!

Home Decorations
We don't have a ton of storage space, so I have to be pretty picky about my decorations. But I've found some great ones this year!

Falala Stocking Holder

Peace and Joy Pillow

Photo courtesy
I was really happy to find something not so Christmas-y for decorations. That sounds counter-intuitive, but sometimes you want something a little different. This matches the colors in my house and I love the simple message, peace and joy.

Friday, November 16, 2018

Back in the Saddle Again and It Feels So Good!

In my last post, I mentioned that we had ordered the Peloton Bike.  If you aren't sure what that is, it's a stationary bike with a giant screen where you can stream classes. It arrived this past Saturday and I did my first ride Tuesday morning. My bike is in my hallway because we haven't moved the bookshelf out of the guest room yet and my stroller fan is attached to the bike so I won't die. I got up at 5 am because Aaron went to work early and did an Advanced Beginner ride.  I am so out of shape, but I did it. And then I did two more rides this past week and an arms segment. And it felt amazing.

How We Got Here
So if you've been around here for a while, then you know that I started this blog because I was starting my fitness journey. I was trying to get healthy and lose some weight after gaining a ton at my old job. I found a gym, a tribe, that I loved and I found strength I never knew I had. I finally found confidence. Then we got pregnant with Carter. I worked out through most of my pregnancy, only stopping around 33 weeks. I slowly started working out again after I was cleared by my doctor and then my gym closed. And I kinda lost all my momentum.

Why Peloton?
My tribe has continued. The instructors stepped up big time and continued to offer classes in the park and one even started her own studio, which I hope to attend some. But working full time and having an extremely cute baby makes it hard to work out. I feel like I'm choosing between them. And my tribe is now in a location that doesn't work for me during the week. 

But with the Peloton, I don't have to choose between time with Carter or working out. Peloton has live classes all day and then those classes are archived, so I can literally do a class any time of day. I mostly did prerecorded classes this week and was still able to see other people working out with me. I did my classes at 5 am, which worked for me, and then had time to shower and put on my make-up before getting Carter up for breakfast. Aaron's also able to work out on his own profile whenever he's available.

Post second ride!
It literally costs the same as it did for just my membership to Burn. Don't get me wrong, that membership was worth every penny. And if Burn was still open, I'd still be going. But that season is over. So we found a solution that we both can use and the cost is the same. Actually, half since we both get to use it. Boom!

Also, that bike is gorgeous. It's super smooth. I did dent my wall trying to unclip, but that just means I'm not going to fall out in a crazy standing sprint, right?

But Your Tribe?
I still hope to be able to do some in person classes. I love the social aspect and still want to see my people. Plus, I like other classes too like yoga, barre and HIIT. But that's going to be on the side, not my main workout.

This is just my first week with the bike. And it's going to live in the hallway for a little bit. Cause that's how we roll right now. But I'm going to give it a month, then I'm going to do a full review. And all of this is my own opinion. I don't get anything for writing this review.  It's just one mom trying to keep herself healthy in ways that work for her and her family. My goal is to use the app five days a week. They have floor classes as well as rides, so that gives me some options.

My first ride was amazing. The music wasn't my favorite. And I'm so out of shape it's not even funny. The advanced beginner ride kicked my butt. But I literally just randomly chose that class. And it was my first since July. And the next two classes I took, I got better at picking my music and instructors. What was most amazing, though, was getting back into it. Knowing that I have options again and I'm working to get rid of this baby weight. I might even get to come off my blood pressure medication if my weight comes back down. But I have options again and it. is. amazing. And, even more so, I don't sacrifice any time with this little boy. And that's the best part of all.

Wednesday, October 31, 2018

Zinn Life Update or I'm Still Alive

Do you know how many posts I've started and not finished? Thought about blogging and then didn't do it? A lot. More than I can count. But I figured the easiest way to get back into it is to just update you guys on our life. Cause it's been a while.

If you follow me on Instagram, then you're probably familiar with some of these happenings, but not all.

Carter is 8 months!
Guys, this is crazy. I have an 8 month old. Who is also in 12 month clothing and it fits him. People tell you that the time goes by quickly, but you never realize it until you're here.

I feel like he's grown so much in the past month.  For the longest time he hated solids. He'd eat them at daycare, but not really for us. Something switched recently, though, and you can't get the food in his mouth quick enough! It's crazy! He's super curious about the world around him. He loves to be free on the floor and really, really doesn't like to be contained. He's not crawling yet, but you'd be surprised how far those little arms can take him!

My breakfast nook is now Carter land.
Things you say before you have kids: "My house will not be taken over by kid stuff! It will be pretty!"

Things you do after you have a kid:

This has always been the plan in the back of my mind, but it's been a while in the making. We have a beautiful dining room space, so we made the breakfast nook area, which is accessible from the kitchen and the living room, Carter's space. We got a LOT of the foam puzzle piece flooring and Aaron even cut it to fit the room. We have baby gates ready, too, but I'm not putting those up until we have to.

My fitness has tanked. Real bad.
My beloved Burn Athletic closed in July. And I've tried a bunch of different things to try and keep going what I had, but it's been hard! One of the instructors is opening a studio and I'm hoping to be able to be part of that, but we've also officially ordered the Peloton bike! I'm so excited!  We can work out at home, we can both use it, and I still get to do "classes" for the same price that I paid for my membership alone at Burn. I still plan to do some in-person classes, but for the most part, Peloton is going to be my new gym.

We have paid off massive debt!
We've been working really hard to pay off some debt. We've stuck to a pretty tight budget since before Carter was born and we've finally hit some of our major goals! We paid of Carter's birth sometime in May or June, but we've mostly been tackling our credit card debt, which includes Carter's nursery furniture and our couch and ottoman. We are down to just the Mazda, my student loans and our mortgage for debt. And it feels FABULOUS! And we did this paying $1,150 a month in daycare costs. You can do it!

Our next house project is painting.
When Beazer built our house, they used flat paint. Flat paint is disgusting, so we're looking at painting all of downstairs.  We're also going to be painting our master bathroom. We replaced the wall o' mirror with two framed mirrors and we're going to paint the room green.  I can't wait to show it to you once it's complete!

Blogging is going to continue!
I can't make any promises about how often it will happen. I'm trying really hard for once a week. But I'm not going to lie, if it's between blogging and time with my little or big man, I'm choosing them. But I miss this and I miss my people. So thanks for still being here andvstay tuned!

Tuesday, August 7, 2018

All the Things I Need to Say: Ramblings of a Working Mom Six Months In

I've tried to write all these blog posts lately and I never seem to finish them. To be honest, I think it's because I just don't have the heart. I'm trying to be lighthearted and put on a good face and be upbeat, but it's just not there. So here's all the things that I've been trying not to say, but I think I need to say.

This is hard. Being a mom is hard. Being a working mom and keeping your ish together is freaking hard. This is nothing against a stay at home mom, our struggles are different, but I've accepted the fact that I'm losing the battle at keeping things together. I've been pumping full time, working full time, mom-ing full time and half you-know-what-ing the rest.

I hate the term "little one." I can't say it, it makes me want to gag because I feel like someone completely not me when I say it and it makes me crazy. Maybe it's my hormones? I don't know.

Daycare is not raising my kid. Someone said that to me while I was pregnant, that they wanted to stop working before they had children because they didn't want someone else raising their child. That's great that you feel that way. That you have the ability to do that, but not everyone does. Daycare isn't raising Carter. They are taking care of him and building on what he learns at home. We are his parents, we are raising him.

I like that he's in daycare. I grew up in daycare. I wasn't traumatized, I don't need therapy. He gets to play with other kids, have other adults love on him. And he's going to have one amazing immune system when he's done.

God did not make me to be a stay-at-home-mom and that's okay. I've always known that. Maternity leave just reinforced it. And it's okay. I'm still a good mom, I still love my baby more than anything. And I hope that growing up with a mom that works, that has a career that she's really good at, teaches him respect for strong women and to not be scared of them.

Don't make a face at me when I tell you the above. You don't get it, it's cool. But I still love my baby and that's all you need to know.

Breastfeeding is hard, full-time pumping is harder. I breastfed for two weeks and have pumped ever since. I've made it six months. In the beginning, two months was my goal and then I changed it to six. And, as only a mom will understand, while I'm almost completely weaned, there's still a part of me that feels bad for not continuing. Even though I know he's healthy and fine on formula and, honestly, has been more formula than not for a while, I still feel guilty for choosing me and my sanity over continuing to pump full time.

Mom guilt is real. Period.

I hate my postpartum body, but I hate it a little less every day. There are blogs out there about how women love their bodies because it gave life to their babies, but I'm going to be real and tell you that I hate this body. In a way, I'm in awe of it. It went through some crazy crap to have Carter. Pre-eclampsia, cardiac issues, etc. I'm still on blood pressure medication six months later. But I also hate it. I worked so, so hard to lose weight. To be okay with where I was and here I am, back at square one. I've slowly started to shed the remaining 20ish pounds, but it's slow going. And until then, I'm lumpy and feel about as unattractive as I can get. But each day, I make a little more progress and I hate it a little less.

I sometimes don't know who I am anymore. I don't think there is enough talk about loss of identity when you have a baby. No one tells you that while you will love that baby more than anything, you'll also mourn a part of yourself. Some women grow up dreaming about being wives and mothers. That wasn't me. I wasn't even sure I wanted kids. I was, and still am, fiercely independent. Aaron and I were at the, "If it happens, great, if not, great" point. And in one fell swoop, two weeks early, my entire world changed. As the mom, you are the end all, be all. You no longer matter. This tiny person becomes your everything, your master. I taught my body how to go hours without eating or, alternatively, how to subsist on fruit snacks. I learned how to pee holding a screaming, wiggling baby. Your husband can help to a point, but there are some things he can't do. And he can't help what switched in you. My entire personality altered. When Carter screams, I literally feel like someone is pulling my heart out of my chest. I can't explain that to someone that has not birthed a baby. Now world events that have nothing to do with me freak me out in a way I can't explain. There are days that I honestly have no idea who I am.

Carter is the best thing I've ever done. I say all of the above because it's true. And yet, despite all of those feelings, he is truly the best thing I've ever done. It's so fascinating to watch his little personality grow and change. To watch him learn how to do things. To find the parts of Aaron and I in him and the things that are all him. And that smile when he sees me in the morning or when I come home after work is the best part of every day. My cousin once posted that parenthood can be summed up as, "I can't wait to see who you become, but slow down a little." I've never heard truer words.

We're all just trying to do the best by our kids. Social media is wrong - most moms feel your pain and want to help you. They don't want to judge you. They might not get you (see the part about not wanting to stay at home), but most moms just want to help. We've all survived those first few crazy, exhaustion blurred months. We've had people give us things and we want to pass those on to you (and clean out our houses). I've met some of the best women and have found rest and support from people in a way I never would have imagined since joining the mom club.

At the same time, my secret favorite thing to do before bed is read all the comments on the Facebook click-bait baby, breast feeding and first-time-mom articles. Those women are crazy and I love it. It's a train wreck and makes me feel like a better person. It's okay to judge me for this.    

Being a mom is hard. Being a working mom is the hardest thing I've ever done. And I'm saying all these things on the off-chance that there's another mama out there that feels even one of them. Because everyone wants to say the nice, pretty things. But those don't help you when the walls are closing in. And they do, I've felt them more than once.  But they also open back up and you find your footing. I've found that this crazy, exhausting time is one big paradox.  Because while it's the hardest thing I've ever done, it's also the best. And for every time I think I'm going to lose it, I'm given at least three more reason why I'm not. 

You've got this mama.  And, if you don't, go read some click-bait article comments. You'll feel a lot better.

Tuesday, July 3, 2018

Sarah the Mother Pumper: Our Breastfeeding Journey

A while back, I had an email from Aeroflow (where I got my pump) asking for Mother Pumper stories. I was still in the new mom with a newborn fog, so I didn't send in my story. Now that I'm back at work and have been a Mother Pumper for over four months and the fog has lifted a little, I decided it was time to share my story as a Mother Pumper! There's even a Mother Pumper blog community. So cool!

I've only blogged a few times since having Carter. I've wanted to write about breastfeeding, about our journey with it because people talk about it, but usually in a this or that way is best, not a
"this is how we did it".  Breastfeeding is such a hot topic and sparks fire in the hearts of many mamas for one reason: your ability to be a good mom comes into question. Or at least it feels that way. Personally, I think that we moms are more alike than not, so sharing your story helps others that are like you find their way and peace with their decision.

When I was pregnant, I was asked by oh so many women, "Are you going to breastfeed?" and I would reply that I was going to try. I was a some breastfed, mostly formula fed baby. My mom has worked my entire life. I knew that I was going back to work, so I really wasn't tied to one way of feeding over the other. I just knew that I wanted to try. To give it an honest go and, if it didn't work out, be able to say that I gave it my all and it just wasn't for us.

My favorite quote about breastfeeding actually came from the social worker that we spoke with before leaving the hospital. It has stuck with me and provided sanity in many stressful moments: For something that is so natural, it sure as heck doesn't just happen naturally.

So, so true. At least for me.

Our breastfeeding story begins with my labor and the word magnesium.

I hate that word. When we were leaving the hospital, I told Aaron that I was going to make a sign with three terms (blood pressure, magnesium and breastfeeding) and if someone said one of the words in the house, they were going to be kicked out. Immediately.

I had preeclampsia. I was induced two weeks early because of it.  One of these days I will get around to writing out Carter's birth story if only for me to remember just how crazy it was and how blessed we are. The treatment for preeclampsia is to have the baby. If you're like me, you're given magnesium. It's a muscle relaxer that helps prevent seizures.  It can make you very tired and loopy. In my hospital, you aren't allowed to eat (you could asphyxiate) and you are tied to the bed. You get a catheter and you're bedridden until you're off the mag.  You're also on magnesium for 24 hours after you have the baby.  And, because it makes you tired and loopy, you aren't allowed to be alone with the baby. Magnesium also can cause a delay in your milk coming in. It's fun. Not.

One of my first photos with Little Man. This was after we left labor and delivery.
Since I had magnesium, Carter had magnesium too. When babies are born, they are very sleepy. I've read that it's best to feed them within the first hour or two because of the sleepiness (but I'm not a doctor, so don't quote me on that). Because Carter had mag in his system, he was even sleepier than usual and had no interest in eating. We did skin to skin as soon as he was born. We tried to breastfeed him. It also didn't help that I didn't have any milk (because of the mag). We sent him to the nursery the first night because I was still on magnesium, so I couldn't help Aaron, and we'd both been up for about 24 hours at that point. They gave him some formula through a syringe in the nursery so he wouldn't starve.

The nurses kept saying, "He'll eat when he's hungry." And we kept trying. But my milk didn't come in and he didn't eat. And then all of the sudden it was, "You need to breastfeed your baby now. He needs to eat, he's dropped 13% below his birth weight."

You want to feel like a terrible parent? Like you've totally failed and it's only day 2? That's how you do it.

Thankfully, the same nurse that delivered that lovely statement was also willing to help us. And was probably the most helpful of everyone, including the lactation consultants. Her name was Sarah (I knew she was good people!). She came to see us every three hours that night and taught us how to do SNS.  With SNS, you're simulating breastfeeding with formula.  The idea is to stimulate your breasts so that milk does come in and teaches the baby how to breastfeed. You put the formula into a vial that hooks onto your bra at your shoulder. It uses gravity and suction from the baby to deliver the formula through a tiny tube that goes into a nipple shield.  It's a pain in the butt to set up and I honestly couldn't have done it without Aaron. We did this every three hours for 2 or 3 days.

We met with lactation consultants. They checked and made sure he didn't have a lip or tongue tie. He had a small tongue tie, but the LC told us it was small and would take care of itself. By the time we left the hospital (5 days later), the nurses and lactation consultants were all proud of us and impressed by what we had done.  One of the LCs even brought us a crocheted blanket and cap for Carter.

This is my one and only photo of Carter breastfeeding. I never planned to document it, but his little face was so precious that I couldn't not capture the moment. 

When we got home, the SNS went out the door. My milk had started to come in, so I breastfed with a nipple shield, because apparently I have flat nipples (the world told me this) and we supplemented with formula. We were on a strict schedule with a certain amount we had to bottle feed him in order to get him back up to his birth weight. I would feed him, then supplement and then pump. And it hurt. Lord the nipple shield hurt. Because it felt like a bottle, I got treated like a bottle. We lost the nipple shield once. I used one that was too small until we replaced it. And then my nipples started to bleed.

It was rough. I lasted about two weeks at home. I caught myself getting mad at Carter because of how much work it was and how hard it was to get him to latch. I was mad because it hurt. Because I was mentally and physically exhausted. Because my body was still reeling from everything. And that  bleeding nipple with blood in the nipple shield was the last straw.

At that point, I decided to stop breastfeeding and to just pump. For my sanity. We were already supplementing with formula and he was doing fine. Aaron was fine with me stopping all together, but I felt like I could keep pumping. Also, formula is expensive and we were about to be broke from daycare.

Today, I pump four to five times a day. I produce between 14 and 16 ounces a day and he eats around 32 ounces. We've been doing this for 4 months now.

Here's my schedule, especially now that I'm working:

5:30 AM - 20 minute pumping session
9:30 AM - 15 minute pumping session
1:30 PM - 15 minute pumping session
5:00 PM - 15 minute pumping session
10:00 PM - 20 minute pumping session

I can honestly say that this is probably more work than just breastfeeding. There are so many pump parts and bottles to wash. And I know the tricks of the trade and how to make life easier. I've also now pumped while road tripping and flying for work training. It just is what it is. But I always knew that I'd be pumping when I went back to work. And pumping also allowed Aaron to share in the joy of middle of the night feedings.

Right now, my goal is six months. I used to say anything after that was gravy, but considering I've dreamed about chucking the pump out the window while flying down the interstate, I'm going to say that's probably not going to happen.

My name is Sarah. This is my happy, healthy and growing baby boy named Carter. He's breast and formula fed. Mostly, he's just fed. I'm a proud breastfeeding, working mother pumper.   

Friday, June 15, 2018

On Your First Father's Day

On your first Father's Day, I have much to say.

I've been writing this in my head for a while now. And you're probably going to be annoyed that I wrote this, because you aren't a writer. But I am. And this, all of this, needs to be said.

We've been a family, you and me, for five years this year. And that, in and of itself, is pretty awesome. But in February, we grew. We became a family of three. We added a nugget, Carter. And I remember what life was like before Carter, but at the same time, I don't. He has completely and utterly consumed our lives as we once knew them. And the man that I've loved for the past 8 plus years was completely and utterly consumed and changed by him, too. So was I. We've changed.

But it's for the better.

I've been told that your love for your spouse changes when you have kids. And it's true. It's so very, very true. Before, you were my other half and my partner in crime. Now? You're my partner in the trenches. You've now seen the worst of the worst. We survived five days in a hospital room without any (additional) bloodshed. We've survived sleepless nights and have learned how to function in a constant state of exhaustion. You're the one that picks up my slack when I have nothing left to give. The one that gets to experience my most epic meltdowns, and yet, you're still here. The only thing I do that you don't in this parenting adventure is pump and produce milk.

Though, I'm sure you might try if you could.

Most importantly, though, you're the best dad I could have asked for Carter.

Sometimes, I wonder if we should have done this earlier. But I think this is just right. We're the people we need to be for Carter. One minute sooner and the three of us would have been different people.  It would all be so different.

So, on your first Father's Day, I want you to know this:

For all the joking around and silliness you contain, of which is endless, you are the best partner I could ask for. You wake up early so you can help get Carter ready in the morning so it's not just me. You stay up with me until my last pump, even though you could go to bed a lot earlier. When we go out, you take care of everything. I've gotten really spoiled by it, honestly. You are the best bottle washer. Hands down (don't worry, I'll keep washing them, too).  But even though all of that is amazing (and trust me, it is), the best part is watching you with the nugget.

Listening to bath time is my favorite and melts my heart every time. Watching his little face when he realizes it's you is the best. He looks at you like you're the coolest thing in the world. It has been my privilege these past four months to watch you grow and become one awesome dad. And now the rest of the world knows it too. As they should.

I hope to never have to do this parent thing without you.  You are forever my first favorite. Stupid movies, jokes and useless nipples aside.

Paul Walker ain't got nothing on you.

Happy First Father's Day.

Love, your tribe.

Thursday, May 31, 2018

Measuring Success: Back at Square One - 5/31/18

Hi! Do you know who I am? I feel like I should reintroduce myself, it's been so long! I'm Sarah, this is my blog and I'm now a mom. Also, if you could see the number of draft blog posts I have that I started and never finished. It's kind of sad. But babies. Man, they rock your world. So I thought, what better way to start back the blog than with a back at square one Measuring Success?!

My last measuring success post was January 31. So it's been four months. I worked out most of my pregnancy, right up until about 32 weeks. That's when everything became uncomfortable. I'm proud of myself for doing what I did. And I'd like to think it made a difference, but sometimes I wonder. If nothing else, it helped me feel more human and not so...huge. Like, I might be huge, but at least I'm strong and capable and huge. In the end, I was induced two weeks early due to pre-eclampsia.

Working out at 31, almost 32, weeks pregnant
I like to say that pre-eclampsia hit me like a train. I was fine, or mostly fine, and then I wasn't. High blood pressure runs in my family. Part of the reason why I work out like I do is because between the high blood pressure on one side and high cholesterol on the other, I'm a walking time bomb. I had mildly high blood pressure during the pregnancy. I was watched and was on 81 mg of Aspirin as a precaution, but that was it. Towards the end, they did a urine test and I had high levels of protein, the other indicator of pre-clampsia. So, I went in for a normal blood pressure check on my lunch hour on a Thursday, was induced that night and Mr. Carter made his entrance that Friday. Two weeks early. My blood pressure wasn't that bad that day, but by the time I was in labor, it was hitting 185/105. There were a bunch of things that happened that made for what my nurses called "a traumatic labor." My sweet baby has one gigantic dome piece (as I lovingly call it) and gave me a stage 3 tear (4 being the worst). So, suffice it to say, getting back to working out was not the easiest in the world.

I was cleared by my doctor at six weeks postpartum to start working out again. I started with walking with Aaron and Carter, then yin yoga, and barre. After I gave up my donut (not the one you eat), I finally got the nerve to sit on a spin bike and two weeks ago, I did my first boot camp class.

And it is quite literally starting back at square one. Bootcamp is probably the hardest. I spend half the class thinking, "Man, I'm fat. This is sad" as I am literally the very last one when we run. I spend the other half thinking, "I just had a baby and I haven't died or puked yet. YES!" But I keep going back because each time, I can do a little more and feel a little stronger.

Sometimes, I feel like all that working out I did when I was pregnant was for nothing. Like I might as well have not done it. I was doing 10 and 12 lb hand weights before getting pregnant and now I'm back to 5 lb. I haven't even attempted the 8 lb yet. And when we run in class, I'm dead last. We're talking a good two to three minutes behind everyone else.

But I'm doing it. I'm back in the gym. We're walking as a family. I'm working out at least 3 days a week. And I might be the very last person in class, when running, but I finish those runs. I'm running three months after having a baby. With a big ol' head. And for all of that, I'm proud of me.

I'm defining this as a success. Because it's hard. It's all hard. Having a baby is hard. Taking care of a newborn is hard and I have one of the best, most supportive and helpful husbands on the planet. Going back to work is hard. Getting back in shape and healthy is hard. It's all hard. So I count the fact that I'm doing something and going back every week as a success. I've had so many people tell me that I wouldn't get back in the gym after Carter. I wouldn't be able to work out. But we make it work because I need to be healthy for him. And for me.

So if you're a new mom, or any mom, trying to get back in shape, you can do it. You just need to find what works for you and get ready to work hard. And find you a tribe. Because this momma thing is hard. Every time I think it's getting easier, something new happens and I'm back at square one.

If you've stuck with this post to this point, you're awesome and I love you. I had a lot to say! But, let's get back to the progress!

1 week postpartum versus 3 months postpartum

Pregnancy Weight Gained: 50 lb
Weight Lost: 24 lb
Weight to Lose: 26 lb

Here I am. Back at square one. At the beginning of my new journey.