Measuring Success: Back at Square One - 5/31/18

Hi! Do you know who I am? I feel like I should reintroduce myself, it's been so long! I'm Sarah, this is my blog and I'm now a mom. Also, if you could see the number of draft blog posts I have that I started and never finished. It's kind of sad. But babies. Man, they rock your world. So I thought, what better way to start back the blog than with a back at square one Measuring Success?!

My last measuring success post was January 31. So it's been four months. I worked out most of my pregnancy, right up until about 32 weeks. That's when everything became uncomfortable. I'm proud of myself for doing what I did. And I'd like to think it made a difference, but sometimes I wonder. If nothing else, it helped me feel more human and not so...huge. Like, I might be huge, but at least I'm strong and capable and huge. In the end, I was induced two weeks early due to pre-eclampsia.

Working out at 31, almost 32, weeks pregnant

I like to say that pre-eclampsia hit me like a train. I was fine, or mostly fine, and then I wasn't. High blood pressure runs in my family. Part of the reason why I work out like I do is because between the high blood pressure on one side and high cholesterol on the other, I'm a walking time bomb. I had mildly high blood pressure during the pregnancy. I was watched and was on 81 mg of Aspirin as a precaution, but that was it. Towards the end, they did a urine test and I had high levels of protein, the other indicator of pre-clampsia. So, I went in for a normal blood pressure check on my lunch hour on a Thursday, was induced that night and Mr. Carter made his entrance that Friday. Two weeks early. My blood pressure wasn't that bad that day, but by the time I was in labor, it was hitting 185/105. There were a bunch of things that happened that made for what my nurses called "a traumatic labor." My sweet baby has one gigantic dome piece (as I lovingly call it) and gave me a stage 3 tear (4 being the worst). So, suffice it to say, getting back to working out was not the easiest in the world.

I was cleared by my doctor at six weeks postpartum to start working out again. I started with walking with Aaron and Carter, then yin yoga, and barre. After I gave up my donut (not the one you eat), I finally got the nerve to sit on a spin bike and two weeks ago, I did my first boot camp class.

And it is quite literally starting back at square one. Bootcamp is probably the hardest. I spend half the class thinking, "Man, I'm fat. This is sad" as I am literally the very last one when we run. I spend the other half thinking, "I just had a baby and I haven't died or puked yet. YES!" But I keep going back because each time, I can do a little more and feel a little stronger.

Sometimes, I feel like all that working out I did when I was pregnant was for nothing. Like I might as well have not done it. I was doing 10 and 12 lb hand weights before getting pregnant and now I'm back to 5 lb. I haven't even attempted the 8 lb yet. And when we run in class, I'm dead last. We're talking a good two to three minutes behind everyone else.

But I'm doing it. I'm back in the gym. We're walking as a family. I'm working out at least 3 days a week. And I might be the very last person in class, when running, but I finish those runs. I'm running three months after having a baby. With a big ol' head. And for all of that, I'm proud of me.

I'm defining this as a success. Because it's hard. It's all hard. Having a baby is hard. Taking care of a newborn is hard and I have one of the best, most supportive and helpful husbands on the planet. Going back to work is hard. Getting back in shape and healthy is hard. It's all hard. So I count the fact that I'm doing something and going back every week as a success. I've had so many people tell me that I wouldn't get back in the gym after Carter. I wouldn't be able to work out. But we make it work because I need to be healthy for him. And for me.

So if you're a new mom, or any mom, trying to get back in shape, you can do it. You just need to find what works for you and get ready to work hard. And find you a tribe. Because this momma thing is hard. Every time I think it's getting easier, something new happens and I'm back at square one.

If you've stuck with this post to this point, you're awesome and I love you. I had a lot to say! But, let's get back to the progress!

1 week postpartum versus 3 months postpartum

Pregnancy Weight Gained: 50 lb
Weight Lost: 24 lb
Weight to Lose: 26 lb

Here I am. Back at square one. At the beginning of my new journey.