Friday, June 15, 2018

On Your First Father's Day

On your first Father's Day, I have much to say.

I've been writing this in my head for a while now. And you're probably going to be annoyed that I wrote this, because you aren't a writer. But I am. And this, all of this, needs to be said.

We've been a family, you and me, for five years this year. And that, in and of itself, is pretty awesome. But in February, we grew. We became a family of three. We added a nugget, Carter. And I remember what life was like before Carter, but at the same time, I don't. He has completely and utterly consumed our lives as we once knew them. And the man that I've loved for the past 8 plus years was completely and utterly consumed and changed by him, too. So was I. We've changed.

But it's for the better.

I've been told that your love for your spouse changes when you have kids. And it's true. It's so very, very true. Before, you were my other half and my partner in crime. Now? You're my partner in the trenches. You've now seen the worst of the worst. We survived five days in a hospital room without any (additional) bloodshed. We've survived sleepless nights and have learned how to function in a constant state of exhaustion. You're the one that picks up my slack when I have nothing left to give. The one that gets to experience my most epic meltdowns, and yet, you're still here. The only thing I do that you don't in this parenting adventure is pump and produce milk.

Though, I'm sure you might try if you could.

Most importantly, though, you're the best dad I could have asked for Carter.

Sometimes, I wonder if we should have done this earlier. But I think this is just right. We're the people we need to be for Carter. One minute sooner and the three of us would have been different people.  It would all be so different.

So, on your first Father's Day, I want you to know this:

For all the joking around and silliness you contain, of which is endless, you are the best partner I could ask for. You wake up early so you can help get Carter ready in the morning so it's not just me. You stay up with me until my last pump, even though you could go to bed a lot earlier. When we go out, you take care of everything. I've gotten really spoiled by it, honestly. You are the best bottle washer. Hands down (don't worry, I'll keep washing them, too).  But even though all of that is amazing (and trust me, it is), the best part is watching you with the nugget.

Listening to bath time is my favorite and melts my heart every time. Watching his little face when he realizes it's you is the best. He looks at you like you're the coolest thing in the world. It has been my privilege these past four months to watch you grow and become one awesome dad. And now the rest of the world knows it too. As they should.

I hope to never have to do this parent thing without you.  You are forever my first favorite. Stupid movies, jokes and useless nipples aside.

Paul Walker ain't got nothing on you.

Happy First Father's Day.

Love, your tribe.

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