Back in early January, I shared that I'm now pre-diabetic and am eating a low(er) carb diet to help control my weight and A1C number. It's been a month since I started that journey and I'm down 5 pounds. That's a modest weight loss for a month, but that's a really good number for me. In the past, that would have taken two to three months. I'm really proud of it. But that's not what makes me want to share.
We did Carter's first birthday photos a few weekends ago. The fact that we've even done them and that we're almost to a year is crazy and a whole other post. But, we got back those photos. And I love every single one of them. But I really love this one of me and my boy.
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Photo by Linsley Schneider Photography |
But they came out beautifully. And all I see is how much I love that kid. Five pounds isn't a huge number, but feeling like I can do this, like it's something that can be handled and not this overwhelming scary thing is huge.
And then I sat in church on Sunday. And one of the campus pastors was preaching about feeling hopeless. He read some twitter posts with #hopeless. They were pretty funny. He then asked us to write down what we felt hopeless about. And I thought. And I thought. And I honestly couldn't come up with something. Usually, it would be my weight or my size. My health. But, it's not hopeless. Part of that is because I've learned that I can do this in my own way. But it's also because after I spoke with my doctor, I gave it all to God. I decided what I would do, but I also put it in his hands. And I left it.
So here I am. Not hopeless. So proud of how beautiful I feel looking at this photo and so very, very proud of this amazing little man. He keeps me on my toes, but he is the sweetest. He's also teaching more about myself than I ever thought possible. Mostly, he's teaching me to love myself a little more, trust God and that it's going to be okay.
And don't worry, you'll get to see the rest of his photos soon. He turns one this month and I can't wait to show him off!